Emotions

It's been way too long since i felt this way. I've never been this sad before. Today's the first time that i actually felt this way. Tried to control my tears throughout the camp,tried my best to control my emotions during the camp and have fun as a programmer but i think i failed badly. I don't know what went wrong with me during this camp,but i really performed badly as a programmer. Unable to give a good and clear briefings and get their attention and so on. All i need was someone/something to trigger the last bomb to make me cry. Now i feel like a total loser.

Does defending even helps when everyone's saying the same thing? Its always me as the bad guy,isn't it? Does it make any difference by defending?